The Subway Diaries
If you live in Manhattan, you ride the subway. It's the cheapest way to get around and you don't have to deal with city traffic. But, with every pro there comes a con, or, in this case, a whole slew of cons. Maybe I am a bit self-righteous, but I believe there are some givens when it comes to subway etiquette. Why, then, does it seem that half the population doesn't know how to properly be a straphanger? It is hard enough being squeezed into a smelly car, standing nose to armpit with strangers, lurching along noisily only to get to the much-dreaded workplace without then having to deal with the rudeness of our fellow passengers.
To make it easier, here are the rules for those of you oblivious to the obvious:
1. Let the passengers off first. Do not try to push your way onto a car while others are trying to get off of that same car. Maybe in a past life, you were a salmon, swimming bravely upstream. On the subway, you are no salmon. You are just rude.
2. If you choose to stand directly in front of the subway doors, even when there is plenty of room to move deeper into the car, expect to get pushed around a little. The doors are only so wide and you are blocking a good portion of the entrance/exit. And do not give me attitude when I push past you... I have no choice... YOU ARE IN MY WAY!!! Better yet, move into the frickin' train!!! Why are you blocking the doors to begin with??!!
3. Do not use the seat next to you for your stuff. Your stuff can go on your lap, and I would rather not.
4. If you are a man, do not sit with your legs wide open, thus taking up two seats. You are supposed to be a gentleman... if you must sit (admit it... some of you guys don't even offer your seat up to the pregnant or elderly!), at least close your legs.
5. Maybe the subway seats are just designed for very small tushies, but sometimes there is just not enough room for you to sit down. I'm sorry. If you have to squeeze yourself into the seat making it hard for everyone else around you to even inhale, perhaps you should just stand? I do not want half of your butt cheek on my lap, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual!
6. Do not hold the doors.
7. Take your backpack off. It takes up too much room. If you are, perhaps, wearing your backpack on your front (people, it is called a BACKpack for a reason), I will address you specifically in a different blog entry, entitled "How to Look Like a Local Even at the Risk of Being Pick-Pocketed"
8. Expect to get touched, bumped, stepped on, pushed. You are on a NYC subway. You are not aboard your private jet.
9. When exiting the station, stay to the right of the stairs allowing people to enter and exit simultaneously. You are not special - we are ALL in a rush. There is only ONE lane and it is to your RIGHT!
10. Lastly, if you do have room, do not stand right on top of me. Give me my space. Trust me - in the end, it will make me want you more.
To make it easier, here are the rules for those of you oblivious to the obvious:
1. Let the passengers off first. Do not try to push your way onto a car while others are trying to get off of that same car. Maybe in a past life, you were a salmon, swimming bravely upstream. On the subway, you are no salmon. You are just rude.
2. If you choose to stand directly in front of the subway doors, even when there is plenty of room to move deeper into the car, expect to get pushed around a little. The doors are only so wide and you are blocking a good portion of the entrance/exit. And do not give me attitude when I push past you... I have no choice... YOU ARE IN MY WAY!!! Better yet, move into the frickin' train!!! Why are you blocking the doors to begin with??!!
3. Do not use the seat next to you for your stuff. Your stuff can go on your lap, and I would rather not.
4. If you are a man, do not sit with your legs wide open, thus taking up two seats. You are supposed to be a gentleman... if you must sit (admit it... some of you guys don't even offer your seat up to the pregnant or elderly!), at least close your legs.
5. Maybe the subway seats are just designed for very small tushies, but sometimes there is just not enough room for you to sit down. I'm sorry. If you have to squeeze yourself into the seat making it hard for everyone else around you to even inhale, perhaps you should just stand? I do not want half of your butt cheek on my lap, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual!
6. Do not hold the doors.
7. Take your backpack off. It takes up too much room. If you are, perhaps, wearing your backpack on your front (people, it is called a BACKpack for a reason), I will address you specifically in a different blog entry, entitled "How to Look Like a Local Even at the Risk of Being Pick-Pocketed"
8. Expect to get touched, bumped, stepped on, pushed. You are on a NYC subway. You are not aboard your private jet.
9. When exiting the station, stay to the right of the stairs allowing people to enter and exit simultaneously. You are not special - we are ALL in a rush. There is only ONE lane and it is to your RIGHT!
10. Lastly, if you do have room, do not stand right on top of me. Give me my space. Trust me - in the end, it will make me want you more.
posted by Tracy at 12:18 PM
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