You Can't Handle the Truth

Having been on quite a few interviews in my time, and getting back into the swing of it recently, a question comes to mind. How truthful are we expected to be? For example, everyone knows to lie about their salary. If you can, lie about your experience. Don't lie about your education or references. But what about those gray-area questions? "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?", "What are your greatest strengths?" and my favorite "What are your weaknesses?" The last one is the one I will delve into here today.

They don't want the truth. Why ask it? To test my lying ability? Well, here it is... my flaws laid down on the table: Everything I feel is written all over my face at any given moment. That means if you piss me off, you will know it. If I don't like you, you will know it. If you do something idiotic that I find to be humorous, you'll be sure to know it. I also can cop an attitude. If you piss me off or if I have not yet eaten lunch and it is four in the afternoon, I may not be nice to you. If you perpetually annoy me, I will turn into the 12-year-old girl that I was, and be fighting with you as if you were my own mother during those tumultous teen-age years. I like egg salad, even though it smells up the entire office. I use the word "like" a lot and sometimes curse - I feel it makes me edgy. I dress like I'm going to see a college band perform at the local bar. I get looped at office parties. I talk about people behind their backs. I watch reality TV.

Now that you know all my flaws, would YOU hire me? Exactly! So, as far an any future employer is concerned, I have no flaws. I am eternally shiny happy sunshine worker-bee. Now give me some candy!