Anti-socialization
I've started thinking that maybe I am too selfish to have children. I live on the Upper West Side, a place where every family has 2 children and, if it's not the double stroller they are pushing around, it's equipped with the "surfboard" platform-thingie for the older kid to stand on. I see these families constantly, crowding the tables at the Jewish deli on Amsterdam or on their way to the public school that happens to live on the same block as me. This is all well and good... I can deal with having kids around. I like kids. I have a niece and nephews and I can't get enough of them, and I am constantly pointing out the cute things strange children do in my midst.
But what bothers me is the stuff I hear from friends who have children. I do not want to spend every weekend day at birthday parties. I don't want to have play dates every other day. And on top of all these silly parties, there's the soccer and ballet and art class, etc. I am all for socialization, but don't they get enough of that in school? Then to have to go to 15 schoolmate parties a year, depending on the class size, 10 parties for the children of our friends, 10 family parties... every weekend is spent eating cake and buying gifts. I think it's ridiculous. WHAT ABOUT ME??? And not only that, but why do both parents need to attend these parties? Isn't the parent just a chaperone? Can't I send my husband one weekend and I'll take the child the next weekend? But, if that type of behavior is acceptable in this parenting cult, then why don't any of the people I am talking about take advantage of it? "Honey, it's your turn to take (CHILD'S NAME HERE) to the party. I'm going to go to the park and have some alone time."
So, like I said, maybe I am too selfish. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to be lazy and spend time doing nothing. I want to do my own thing, without the children, once in a while. I want to see the world and travel. Yeah, I want my kids to be cared for and feel special and loved and to keep up with their peers, but does it ALWAYS have to revolve around them and their activities? And then the whole making friends with the other moms just b/c our kids are the same age... ugh, don't get me started.
But what bothers me is the stuff I hear from friends who have children. I do not want to spend every weekend day at birthday parties. I don't want to have play dates every other day. And on top of all these silly parties, there's the soccer and ballet and art class, etc. I am all for socialization, but don't they get enough of that in school? Then to have to go to 15 schoolmate parties a year, depending on the class size, 10 parties for the children of our friends, 10 family parties... every weekend is spent eating cake and buying gifts. I think it's ridiculous. WHAT ABOUT ME??? And not only that, but why do both parents need to attend these parties? Isn't the parent just a chaperone? Can't I send my husband one weekend and I'll take the child the next weekend? But, if that type of behavior is acceptable in this parenting cult, then why don't any of the people I am talking about take advantage of it? "Honey, it's your turn to take (CHILD'S NAME HERE) to the party. I'm going to go to the park and have some alone time."
So, like I said, maybe I am too selfish. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to be lazy and spend time doing nothing. I want to do my own thing, without the children, once in a while. I want to see the world and travel. Yeah, I want my kids to be cared for and feel special and loved and to keep up with their peers, but does it ALWAYS have to revolve around them and their activities? And then the whole making friends with the other moms just b/c our kids are the same age... ugh, don't get me started.
posted by Tracy at 7:31 AM
1 Comments:
AMEN! Preach on sista!
I am too much of a fan of coming and going as I please, playing videogames or drinking with friends until 3 am, spending my money only on the cool stuff I want.
Formula, clothes, diapers, sleeping for 3 hours at a time... ugh that's just the first year. When they start walking and talking and going to school they start wanting more stuff....
*shudder* Not ready just yet.
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