Just for Kicks

I have an aunt that I adore. She loves to tell dirty jokes and will often pass me a little cartoon that she found amusing, or whisper naughty jokes in my ear. I think she amused my father very much as he loved a good laugh and getting one from a teeny little Italian woman (I don't even know if she's 5 feet tall!) made it that much better. So I have a little joke to share, though I can't recall if it came directly from Auntie Net or not. Let's give her credit anyway. I am usually a terrible joke teller, but perhaps I will be better when given the option of editing... here goes:

There was a woman who was unlucky in love. She'd been married and divorced three times, and was lonely again looking for love. She decided to place a personal ad. It read:

Woman seeks man who won't hit me (as husband #1 did), won't leave me high and dry (like husband #2) and is well-endowed (husband #3 obviously was not).

After too many losers, just when she thought she'd be alone forever, her doorbell sounded and she encountered a man on her front step. He had no arms and no legs... just a little ball of a man sitting on her stoop.

"I'm answering your personal ad" he said. A little taken aback, the woman asked why he thought he was the right man for her. He replied "Well, you're looking for a man who won't hit you. As you can see, I can't hit you. I have no arms."

"That's true..." the woman says. "You also want a man who will stay with you, who won't run away when things get rough. I have no legs. I can't run, so I'll be with you through thick and thin."

"Yes," the woman says. "But what about the third thing?"

"Well, how do you think I rang the doorbell?"