Sometimes
Why is it that when people are being described in the media, for example in a human interest story on the news, or an article in People magazine, that the word "happily" always precedes "married". It creates this idea that these people run around, giddy with huge smiles on their faces, gazing into each other's eyes, whispering "I love yous". Most people are happy, some of the time.
I don't think that happiness is as easily achieved as it is made to sound. Now, people reading this will now interpret that to mean that I am NOT happily married. That is not what I am saying... sometimes I am happy, sometimes sad. But I am content in my marriage. Contentedness equates happiness, in my book, but just doesn't scream JOY! Like we are all running around with huge smiles on our faces and if you're not part of the "happily married" group, then you are a freak.
I just find the whole thing to be kind of funny. Who knows whether or not that couple described as such goes home and has huge screaming matches or whether the husband is cheating on the wife, or whether the wife is secretly a lesbian... we don't know. All we know is that they put on the "happily married" front and they are accepted in the world.
I would just appreciate it more if people would answer that question realistically: "Are you happily married?" "Yes, sometimes, I am." It takes so much pressure off to be continuously happy. Why doesn't anyone admit, "no, I am actually UNhappily married. I didn't want to get married in the first place, yet here I am with 4 kids and 2 car payments and a huge mortgage and a job I hate. No, I am not happily anything!" or "Well, I was happily married yesterday but today I am just so-so happily married... see, my hubby left the toilet seat up again, after I told him a million times to put it down so when I sat down, my tushie got soaked in freezing cold water and I'm still pissed at him about it." See that would make ME happy! Truth! Realism! Honesty! What a novel idea. Or else, just stop with that phrase and instead change it to "are you content in marriage?" Content to me is warm and cozy, like I'm snuggled up on the couch with my hubby, eating popcorn and watching CSI. That I like. That is me. Content. In love. Happy, sometimes.
I don't think that happiness is as easily achieved as it is made to sound. Now, people reading this will now interpret that to mean that I am NOT happily married. That is not what I am saying... sometimes I am happy, sometimes sad. But I am content in my marriage. Contentedness equates happiness, in my book, but just doesn't scream JOY! Like we are all running around with huge smiles on our faces and if you're not part of the "happily married" group, then you are a freak.
I just find the whole thing to be kind of funny. Who knows whether or not that couple described as such goes home and has huge screaming matches or whether the husband is cheating on the wife, or whether the wife is secretly a lesbian... we don't know. All we know is that they put on the "happily married" front and they are accepted in the world.
I would just appreciate it more if people would answer that question realistically: "Are you happily married?" "Yes, sometimes, I am." It takes so much pressure off to be continuously happy. Why doesn't anyone admit, "no, I am actually UNhappily married. I didn't want to get married in the first place, yet here I am with 4 kids and 2 car payments and a huge mortgage and a job I hate. No, I am not happily anything!" or "Well, I was happily married yesterday but today I am just so-so happily married... see, my hubby left the toilet seat up again, after I told him a million times to put it down so when I sat down, my tushie got soaked in freezing cold water and I'm still pissed at him about it." See that would make ME happy! Truth! Realism! Honesty! What a novel idea. Or else, just stop with that phrase and instead change it to "are you content in marriage?" Content to me is warm and cozy, like I'm snuggled up on the couch with my hubby, eating popcorn and watching CSI. That I like. That is me. Content. In love. Happy, sometimes.
posted by Tracy at 8:35 AM
1 Comments:
Blogger is pissing me the hell off, for reasons I won't go into here. But I digress.
I would never want to live my life in some kind of dream-world bubble where nothing affects me, and I see sunshine and rainbows everywhere I go. That's just delusional, and I would never associate with anyone like that.
"The sweet just isn't as sweet without the sour."
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