8 and a Half Weeks

Feeling nauseas. Dry heaving in the shower this morning. Aversion to cooked fish. Exhausted. Pains in my back. Breasts are sore. Unmotivated. Slightly bloated. Anticipating the end of the first trimester. Yes, I'm pregnant. So far it's not as glorious as I had imagined. It's kind of like having a stomach bug. I don't see the effects of it and nobody around me knows yet, so I just feel "blah".

My sister is due to have a C-section tomorrow. I'm anticipating the arrival of my third nephew (1 from her, 1 from my brother, and now this little guy). I can't wait to hold him and see his cute little face. And I still get that same pleasure out of seeing his brother, 2.5 years old and so cute. I love the way he talks and the funny way he dances. They way he says "Mama, no" for EVERYTHING, even when it doesn't make sense. "Mama, no" as he wants his father to throw him up into the air. "Mama, no" as he points to something he wants off the table. Very cute.

I worry that my own child, in my eyes, will be even more adorable and that I won't be able to handle my love for him or her. My friends have assured me that the cuteness factor gets equaled out by the annoying factor. For every cute thing they do, they also scream and cry and need. So hopefully I won't feel so overwhelmed by how wonderful this kid is. Just as I haven't been so overwhelmed by how wonderful this pregnancy is. I will be able to get through life on a daily basis without dying from cuteness.