Zen and the Art of Computer Dependency

We live in an automated age. Almost anything I want to know or do, can happen online. I can research hotels, buy tickets, pay bills, send e-cards, look up old college friend's police records... anything!

But now that I've gotten used to this, I want it to be even quicker. I want my airline miles posted the second I land at my destination. I want my credit card to reflect any transactions within the last 10 minutes. I want my bank balance to reflect payments and deposits made during my lunch hour. If I'm on the phone with you, and you tell me you just sent me an email, I want to hear the sweet ding of an incoming message immediately. If that does not happen, something must be wrong with my work server. I better be able to copy and paste in one application while simulateneously opening another and attaching a separate file to the email I am typing.

Does this make me an efficient worker of just plain impatient? Have you ever gotten on somebody else's computer, you know the one that takes 40 minutes to boot up and just as long to do everything else, and felt like you were being tortured? Is this my karma coming back to slap me in the face for something horrible I did while multi-tasking? Is it some higher-being trying to teach me a lesson to slow down? Whatever it is, I want instant gratification and I want it NOW. Make things faster, make turn-around time even quicker, make a keyboard that can guess what I am going to type so I can be three sentences ahead of myself at all times. But then again, the quicker we work, the more work we have to do... (this being said as I write my blog, while monitoring my IMs, listening to my iTunes, waiting for a phone call, checking my online calendar and email and hear my cell phone ring.) What a glorious fast-paced technological world we live, not quite in, but behind the glowing screen of our monitors. Remind me when I grow an extra eyeball from all the rays of my computer and cell phone that this was all worth it at the time and that I loved every second of it!

Remember me?

OK, after a bit of a hiatus from blogging (thanks to my recent marriage and honeymoon), I am back. What have I learned from all of this?

Firstly, when you get married, do not expect to talk to many people, including your closest friends and family members. I don't remember much from that night and think I may have said two complete sentences to about two of our guests. It was that much of a whirlwind.

Secondly, boy, do I love to dance! And sweat, A LOT! Pretty bride had left the building early and sweaty bride took her place. No wonder I don't see many photos of me after a certain point in the evening.

Thirdly, when going to an all-inclusive resort, be prepared to be amongst the same people that enjoy the buffets in Las Vegas, fanny packs included. But also be prepared to never have to wait more than 10 minutes for a tennis court to be free.

Lastly, not much changes once you are married. In fact, I now feel like we are back to the fun phase before be even got engaged. There is no stressful talk about the wedding planning, no worrying over the guest list or whether the DJ will play the songs you want. All is well in the world of matrimony. OK, so it's only been 2 weeks, but so far, so good!

I Heart Robots

When I was small, and asked to write out the much anticipated annual Christmas list, mine, age 7-11 would look something like this:

1. Kitten
2. Telephone in my room
3. Robot
4. Barbie Dream House and any other Barbie accoutrements

...and so on. Yes, a robot was not just in the top 10, but the much-coveted top 5. Out of all of those things, the only one I still wish for is that robot.

One year, I did actually get one. It was the cutest little thing. Very small, ran on batteries and he held a little tiny map and would bump into walls and turn, as if he could really read that map. I mean, I LOVED this thing. I would watch it for hours, sometimes pretending that he belonged to one of my Barbies.

But it wasn't really what I truly wanted. I wanted a real life-sized robot, that looked like a robot, but could be programmed to do my chores. Yes, a robotic slave. But also a friend. One that I had complete control over. I was obsessed with a tv show called "Small Wonder" about a robot who was a part of the family. She didn't look like a robot, but instead was in the form of a girl. I didn't care. I loved it anyway. I loved it when she malfunctioned and they had to open her control panel or put her back on her charger. I loved the robot in the Jetsons. I was captivated by the Sony Aibo robot dog that appeared on the scene not too long ago. I think it is totally awesome when I hear about robots finding bombs or performing surgery. I did not like that show BattleBots, though. Why anyone would create a wonderful robotic machine, only to battle it to the death against another one of its own kind? Who am I kidding - it was still pretty cool.

Why this fascination? I think I like it because it's technology that is so above my head, that I don't get it. I had a professor in college who explained that things we don't understand are like magic to us. I don't get how telephones, or faxes or televisions work. Magic. Therefore, robots = magic, and so I guess I heart magic, too. Now, if I could figure out how to magically wiggle my nose and have my laundry be cleaned, I would be happier. But it would be SO much better to have my life-sized robotic friend/slave doing it for me.