Big News x 2

Firstly, my grandmother is 100 years old today!!! And she still lives alone and is self-sufficient in every way. She doesn't need a cane to get around. The only issue she has is her failing sight. Happy Birthday, Nanie! I hope you live long enough to meet your next great grandDAUGHTER! (That's the second part of the big news... it's a girl!)

Half-Way Point

There are some pretty gross things that people do not warn women about when it comes to pregnancy. Thank goodness for the internet and those pregnancy books. Thought I'd give you an abbreviate lesson on what to expect, now that I'm half-way there and have not been thrilled as of yet about any of the surprises I've encountered.

1. Soggy Bottoms. This is incredibly gross, so I'll just be blunt. Thick, creamy discharge. Buy a lot of new undies, because you'll need them.

2. Bloody Hell. Again, gross. Brush your teeth, mouth full of blood. Blow your nose, tissue full of blood. Something happens to your membranes, I guess, and you end up bleeding more than ever before.

3. Rand McNally Boobs. Your bigger breasts become patterned with blue veins. If you are pale like me, this is very noticeable and I cannot say it's sexy.

4. It's a Gas. Burping and farting become as common as breathing.

I've heard of other events that occur in some women, but luckily I have not had the pleasure of experiencing things like swollen ankles or an enlarged nose as of yet. I'll let you know when I get to that point. (Tonight we find out the sex, if this little thing cooperates... I'm so excited!)

The Things I Thought

When I was a kid, I believed that when you got married, you and your spouse were allowed to pick the last name that you wanted to have. I guess I was too young to associate my own last name with my parents marriage, or else I was just not the brightest bulb of the bunch. Anyway, I already had decided to change my first name to Shelley. What I considered the most beautiful of all names in the world. I had narrowed down my last name choices to three.

Firstly, Shelley Roller. I liked to roller skate and I thought that had a very nice ring to it.

Secondly, Shelley Coffee. My grandmother was giving us sweet coffee every Sunday after church, with our donuts, and I loved it. The smell, the taste and therefore thought it would make a very nice surname.

And lastly, Shelley Clover. In honor of one of my favorite pastimes which was searching our three little patches of lawn for four-leaf clovers. I don't know why I had this obsession. We weren't Irish, but I did know they were lucky and I was determined to find one. I never did but the search kept me occupied for many an idle sunny afternoon.

I also believed that my yellow lab, Sammy, had a tongue that was made out of ham. It looked like ham, and he was always drooling so I thought the drool was the result of having a yummy piece of ham for a tongue.

I was an odd child.